As all modern love stories begin, John and Karen met online at Catholicmatch.com. After their first date at Margaritaville, they knew they have found their person. The person who they would choose to spend the rest of their lives with as well as create a family of their own one day, but there was one thing in their way. Karen was born with Turner syndrome, a chromosomal condition that affects development in females, which means she would never be able to have her own children. John knew his love for Karen was more important than having biological children and he would love any child with unconditional love. They turned to Catholic Charities in pursuit to begin their family.
Both growing up in Catholic families, choosing Catholic Charities “seemed like the way we were meant to go,” Karen says. They registered with multiple adoption agencies, learning the truth of the competitiveness after losing two twins to a family who paid more. The heart breaking experience was hard to swallow, but they found peace with the philosophy that stood behind Catholic Charities.
“Catholic Charities didn’t focus around the money; they focused on the relationship for the adoption,” Karen says.
In the summer of 2012, John and Karen were officially on the list as future parents. Expecting mothers who work with Catholic Charities receive five to six letters of parental interest. Finally, after two years of waiting and praying, John and Karen learned they were going to be parents. Emily*, an expectant mother, with the support of her family, chose Karen and John to raise and care for her daughter.
“We found out in Big Lots on Black Friday,” John laughs. “We were shopping for a vacuum cleaner and came home with the news that we were going to have baby.”
Because everyone mutually decided for the adoption to be open, Karen and John met up with Emily shortly after and were able to be a part of the whole pregnancy process. Karen attended doctors’ appointments and ultrasounds. They communicated through a pay as you go phone. When Emily went into labor, Karen and John were both in the delivery room. John was even able to cut the umbilical cord.
Their beautiful daughter, Leah, was born and they finally were the parents they’ve always dreamed about. Leah keeps them both busy with dance, gymnastics and her vibrant energy. John and Karen still raise her true to their own family traditions and values, continuing to love every minute of being parents.
Leah knows she is adopted and has scheduled playdates with Emily on occasion. She refers to Emily as her tummy mommy and Karen is her heart mommy. Leah even has a picture of Emily in her bedroom. Karen and John send pictures to Emily regularly, keeping her updated on how Leah is doing.
“When we tell people Leah is adopted they always say, ‘Oh I would have no idea,” Karen says. “We have even referred other couples to work with our counselor, Jen from Catholic Charities.” Leah also knows Jen as the woman who helped mommy and daddy find their baby.
“John and Karen have always approached their adoption from the standpoint of what will be best for their child. And you can tell that by the way they talk about Leah’s birth mother, and also being comfortable enough to have a photograph of Leah’s birth mother in her bedroom,” Jen says. “They do it because they believe that is what is best for their daughter, and I couldn’t agree more!”
Together, they were able to create a happy family and a prosperous life for Leah.
“Your baby will find you.
You don’t want to hear it at the time, but it’s true,” Karen says.
“It’s a wild ride, but the payoff is priceless. It can be fast, it can be long. We know someone who worked through Catholic Charities and got their baby in three weeks,” John says. “In the end it’s what God has planned for you.”
*Name has been changed for privacy
